"Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on." ~ Eckhart Tolle
In recent months I've been involved in a fair number of events and I've been more than grateful and thankful for those opportunities. As draining and exhausting as they've been, I've loved my involvement with them and I'd like to hope that in each of these instances further photography work and opportunities will eventuate in the coming year.
During this time I was also offered the opportunity to be involved as a photographer at a somewhat significant event. I did agree to it in the first instance but shortly after I started to experience significant personal (health) issues. I contemplated withdrawing my services for this event because of my issues but my ego got the better of me and I progressed it further in the hopes that things would just sort themselves out. Unfortunately for me, that wasn't the case.
I lost a lot of sleep coming to terms with withdrawing my services for this event and I felt like a failure because I was unable to uphold my initial commitment...but at the same time, in the back of my mind I knew it was the right thing to do (for me) for nothing more than self preservation. Letting go of something, anything, that I had committed to because of health reasons (that are out of my control) has been one of the hardest things I've had to do in recent memory.
Dealing with my own ego has not been easy. The internal dialogue (or more accurately, internal conflict) has not been easy. Coming to the realisation that there are some things that our out of your control has not been easy. Coming to terms that there are factors that, despite what you WANT to do will limit or negate what you CAN do, has not been easy.
As a result, I've had to cease any further (active) photography work. At least for the short term anyway.